What if true love was not found outside of yourself? What if the love your soul longs for is to be found within the deep and intimate aspects of your own precious being? What if your valentine was in fact a part of you?
Valentine’s Day, as most of us here in the overculture know, is a way of honoring and expressing romantic love, to the one – outside of ourselves – we love.
I don’t wish to share anything that’s already been said here (and I suspect I already have), yet I do wish to share something with anyone who is waiting, or praying for, or grieving for the loss of that one-and-only person to whom you are totally and completely matched at the soul level. I wish to say this ~ I’m not sure they exist outside of yourself. This does not mean that finding an intimate other with whom you have a deep and soulful connection which expresses itself romantically as well as in many other ways is not valid, or fulfilling, or completely part of what it is to be human. No. I want to share with you that since I have been in that said human intimate relationship I have discovered (not because I went looking for it) a love that is so much more fulfilling and vast and beautiful than that but which is not that. A love that I have met in myself from deep dives into my underworld, my psyche, my dream world.
This one comes in different forms at different times but when I am with him I am utterly met and have a feeling of completion that I have not had in the human dynamic. Ever. Nor should I expect to. I think it’s fair to say that I am now seasoned well enough to know better than to put such an expectation onto another human.
This one that I write of here I could call my inner beloved. This one holds a presence that is so familiar, so filled with beauty and so totally of love that, at times, when I am with him I have felt ready for my death. Yes, the love and how I feel within it is that complete. This, for me, is the truest love I will ever feel in this lifetime and I have had to share that truth with my beloved human partner so as to be authentic.
With my inner beloved I am being asked to court and be courted. I am, especially on Valentine’s day, asking him to be my Valentine, not the human other (though there is joy and beautiful connection to be found there too). I am feeding him chocolates, going for romantic walks with him, writing him poetry, reading them to him out loud. Yes, even when I have a human other to do those things with.
This is love in service to love. Eros in service to eros. Life receiving life. This is my wholeness embodied.
I would also add here that it his he who inspired me to write this. In many ways, then, he is also my muse.
I wonder if you have a sense your inner beloved? I wonder how it would be to be in courtship with the other-than-humans? To allow yourself to feel the romantic gestures of life and offer them back as life, as love? Not just for Valentines day, but any day……..To notice who shows up in your dreamworld as your familiar soul love……..And how any of this inspires you to write poetry, or a blog, make music, sing, paint………..
I leave you with this poem I wrote many years ago when I first encountered my inner beloved……
True Romance I died a thousand times for you A thousand times you gave me life. I cried an ocean for you. You are that ocean. Scores of poetry have I written in your name. You are the very meaning of those words. So many nights I dreamt of you. You are the creator of those dreams. How many lives have I spent searching for you only to find you were here all along? You waited aeons for me. You would wait that much again. I've fallen in you. So let me lay myself down right here in your supreme softness Let it soak me up and surround me Completely I shall delight in it